Find your people

Photo c/o: Julia Gaynor (front row, center)

Social media isn't a way to get ahead, to get rich or famous. It's a way to share your talents and expertise with the world. A way to find your people; to connect with folks who love the same things you do -- whether that's running marathons, raising Swissies, collecting vinyl, woodworking, or parenting.

You've probably been doing this in one form or another almost since the day you were born. I know I have.

Here's just one example. When I was in 5th grade, there was a girl in my homeroom class who I thought was the coolest. Her name was Christina Stovall and like me, she played kickball with abandon. We were teammates. But not officially friends.

One day Christina brought her favorite book, Little Women, to school and offered to lend it to me. I was honored. In return, I let her borrow the book I treasured most, Harriet the Spy. Long story short, we bonded by sharing books that revealed who we were. And we became BFFs.

So when you think of social, don't think of it as smarmy career-ism. Think of it as a chance to come as you are; to find your people; to share your talents and pool your resources with those most likely to appreciate them.

We belong

I often write about the power of social media to create and build relationships. But nothing can replace the type of bonding that takes place when we come together in real life around a common goal.

Desmond Tutu said it best “We are because we belong”.

At the 3% Conference in San Francisco, sitting in a room with 200 other women (and a few male) Creatives and Creative Directors talking about how we can be the change we want to see, I felt the power of Tutu’s words.

I’m not comparing the plight of women CDs in advertising to the plight of the South African people as they struggled against apartheid. But it’s worth noting that most movements start small and this feeling of belonging helps them grow over time.

It’s clear from the onslaught of emails, blog posts, articles, and tweets that those of us who attended this first-ever event for women CDs left the building feeling like we belonged and are now superglued to the Creative Mothership.

Kat Gordon, the founder of 3%, will release the full results of the post-conference survey and multiple videos documenting the day’s events soon so we can all review what we learned and who inspired us; where the day succeeded and what can be improved. In the meantime, Kat shared with me what is perhaps the most telling survey comment – a comment that was echoed again and again:

“The best conference I’ve ever been to.”

It seems we touched a nerve. Was it the subject matter? The speakers? The feeling of being part of something bigger? Maybe it was all three.

Cindy Gallop, founder and CEO of IfWeRanTheWorld said it best in her call to arms keynote about the high cost of living in a 3% world. Every head in the place nodded as she argued that “The new creativity is not about stereotypes. It’s about what’s real”.

What’s real is that women do 80% of the buying but ad agencies still market to us as if we were men. It’s obvious why this still happens: it’s comfortable for men to hire and work with men. But as Gallop reminded us “Greatness comes from discomfort. That’s why men should champion women.”

But it’s not just about better creative or better role models. Championing women is also good business. When agencies don’t deliver marketing that speaks to the largest consumer group on the planet, advertisers miss out on sales and waste their ad dollars.

For these reasons and more, we came together on September 27^th to address the reality of the world we live in, to share our experiences, our knowledge, and to commit to take collective action.

All hail Kat Gordon, who conceived The 3% Conference and promises next year’s event will offer even more of everything. 2 days instead of 1. A bigger venue. More speakers. More “How To”. More men. And more of what we all felt on September 27^th: that we are all women; we are all Creative; and we all belong.

To get an idea of how 200 women started the day as acquaintances and forged relationships that will last a lifetime, watch a video of Cindy Gallop’s keynote speech in its entirety.

If you’d like to learn more about The 3% Conference or would like to be part of next year's event, please visit our Facebook page, LinkedIn Group, or website.

Facebook: the next recruiting frontier

Do you use Facebook to keep in touch with family and friends? And LinkedIn to network and search for your next job? What about Twitter? In this post, which I co-wrote with Christie Cordes, socially savvy founder of Ad Recruiter, we examine how the lines between our Social networks are blurring and whether the walls between our private and professional lives need to come down.

Scenario 1 – Friends of Friends

When job connections are made organically on Facebook, it’s Social at its best – your personal and professional lives converge in a natural way.

Here’s an example: you (a Creative Director) share a brilliant video, infographic, or blog post, along with a pithy comment. A friend re-shares your content and soon her friends start commenting, too. As it happens, one of these friends of your friend is an Executive Creative Director (ECD) at another ad agency. This rock star sends you a friend request. COOL! Over time, you share vacation photos, Mashable links, inspiring creative resources, etc. Somewhere down the line, when he needs a new CD, he pings you first. You get the job. Life is good.

Sounds simple, right? But what helped the stars align? What happened to make it easy for the ECD to get to know you well enough to want to be friends with you? When he clicked on your “about me” section, was he able to access your full profile, including all the amazing places you worked? Was it open so Friends of Friends could view it?

If not, you probably missed out on an opportunity to be friends with one of the greatest creative minds in the universe. You blew a chance to grow your network. And possibly took yourself out of the running for your future dream job.

But let’s think positive. Let’s say your “about me” was open to viewing and the ECD saw more than a glib bio and where you went to college. He also saw a list of the amazing places you worked and links to your LinkedIn and Twitter profiles, and your online portfolio. If this was the case, your chances of getting a friend request from this rock star went up 80%.

Scenario 2 – Industry Recruiter

Let’s try another scenario. An industry recruiter (who you know and trust) suggests making your Facebook “about me” more public so a potential employer – a rock star ECD – can view it. Would you agree? Or would your first instinct be to say “HELL NO”?

Facebook, the most personal and populous social platform – with 158 million users in the U.S. alone – is where employers are now looking to recruit. Why? Because on Facebook, people are themselves. They’re not polished and packaged like they are on LinkedIn. Employers want to know who they’re hiring. But most of us insist – for good reason – on keeping our personal lives private. After all, it’s illegal for an employer to ask you your age, political leanings, or religion.

To illustrate the types of conversations recruiters are having with resistant candidates, Christie and I created the following Facebook dialogue.

Facebook, the recruiting battleground

Christie FB message to Rebecca: Hi Rebecca, I got your FB message that you’re looking for a new gig. I’ll keep an eye out. Can I ask you a question? Why if you’re looking for new gigs (under or over the radar) are most of your Social profiles vague about your experience? Do you realize the best ECD’s globally use FB networking as their personal cache of “friends” with talent? Your “about me” section only tells me where you went college and that you love fried chicken. Suggestion: cut & paste your LI profile into you FB “about me” and make that section public so friends of friends in the industry can see how amazing your experience is.

Rebecca FB message to Christie: <gasp> Christie I don’t USE FB for “networking”. It’s for friends and family only. 

Christie: Why? 

Rebecca: Because I don’t want Industry People to SEE my posts, pictures of my kids’ birthday parties...  

Christie: Why not? You’ll also see pictures of theirs. Look, people hire qualified people they trust, like and know. I see FB pictures of Global ECDs and CEOs on vacation all the time. Hitting the LIKE button tells them you enjoy their picture and that you’re a “friend” of theirs “in the industry”. 

Rebecca: Why does he (an ECD) need to see my FB profile when he’s already seen my LinkedIn profile? My FB is personal -- and PRIVATE. I’m emailing you my resume. 

Christie: Why does your favorite creative mind need to be your FB friend (?) because you can’t like his fun vacation pictures on LinkedIn -- that’s why. You can’t comment on the latest crazy video he posted on his wall! You’re not in his inner circle. Don’t you want to open doors for yourself and your career? LinkedIn is a less powerful (inner circle). BTW, thank you for the resume PDF but I don’t need it. We’re already LinkedIn. That’s your resume, isn’t it? 

Rebecca: I hear you but I’ve never been asked to open my FB before to Industry People. 

Christie: But you’re asking me about possible opportunities, I’m telling you where a great place to find them is. It’s right here on FB. How about this: OPEN your FB up to folks you’d love to eventually work with, by being FB friends with them, make “about me” your public FB (resume) or profile experience and start sending notes to a few friends of friends you admire in the industry. Trust me; they’ll look at your ABOUT ME and see your experience and that you’re connected to mutual friends. I assure you no PDF has that kind of impact. Imagine the impact if you become FB friends? Just see what happens. 

Rebecca: But who I am on Facebook is different than who I am on LinkedIn or Twitter. Would I have to tweak my Timeline? Even if I had the time to clean it up, I’m not sure I want to. 

Christie: The idea isn’t for you to try to be someone you’re not. ECDs love getting invites from friends of friends and FB fans who are in the industry and are talented. They love seeing all their friends’ creative posts. And remember, if you’re not one of their friends on Facebook, when they have an opening, you won’t even make their shortlist.

Rebecca: Let me think about it.

Christie: Sure. Think about it. But in the meantime, please at least add some of your great work experience to your “about me” section and BE sure you have links to your Twitter & LinkedIn profiles "just in case” one of your brilliant FB posts gets re-shared by a co-worker friend and is then seen by industry friends of friends.

Privacy versus Opportunity

Will Rebecca take Christie’s advice? If she does, will the ECD view her FB profile, friend her, and think of her the next time he needs a new CD? There are no guarantees. But if she becomes his FB friend, she’s certainly more likely to be top of mind.

Either way, there’s no denying that the lines between professional and personal social platforms are blurring. The worlds of LinkedIn and Facebook are colliding as your colleagues (or even your boss) become your Facebook friends.

Is this a good thing? It is in the sense that current and future co-workers are more likely to know and accept you for who you really are. On the other hand, when your private life is open to public scrutiny, you may be judged on your views on politics or taste in music. It’s a trade off.  The crossover FB/LinkedIn bonds are stronger than the connection we have with those folks we know only on LinkedIn. But are they worth giving up our privacy for?

What do you think? Do you separate your personal and private online lives? How much Facebook/LinkedIn overlap do you allow, if any at all?

Can social media help women CDs rule the ad world?

According to Forbes, women control more than 80% of consumer spending. Yet the majority of us don’t like how we’re being marketed to. Why does Madison Avenue continually fall short? One glaring reason: only 3% of advertising Creative Directors are women. 

What if more women were CDs?

If the very people being marketed to had the power to decide what the creative should be, would there be less frat boy humor? Would the messaging be more relevant? You bet your platform heels it would.

If you ask Kat Gordon, the founder of Maternal Instinct, she'll tell you the three industries worst at marketing to women are: automotive, insurance and financial services.

So taking cars as an example, let’s fantasize about what a woman-driven campaign might look like. I’m guessing the TV commercials would have fewer sexy blondes, salt flats, and car chases. How fast the car goes might not be as important as how fast it stops. And what it does to the planet.

Instead of spending 30 million dollars to show the same commercial over and over again, maybe more of the budget would find its way into digital & social. The website might not be completely geared toward gearheads. Sure, it would have car specs – how fast it goes, how much room it has, miles per gallon it gets. But it might also have real-life info, like how easy it is to park, or install kids’ car seats, whether it’ll destroy your Louboutins, how much maintenance it requires, or expensive it is to insure.

Maybe there would be a Facebook page with links to basic automotive repair, women automotive bloggers sharing their POV, or a community for women car owners. Sound crazy to you? Sounds great to me.

How can more women CDs get in the driver’s seat?

So aside from being brilliant art directors, designers and copywriters, how can more women CDs get and keep a seat at the decision-making table? Here’s my theory. Madison Avenue is still a boy’s club. Which means it’s not enough to have the talent and skills. Women CDs need every advantage we can get. We need to be social ninjas.

Climbing the ladder by speaking social

Mastering social media is like mastering a second language. At agencies big and small all across the country, most Creative Directors can speak “tourist social”. They know the basic opportunities Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and LinkedIn can offer. But they’re not fluent enough to truly make each platform work its unique brand magic. Not to mention they don’t know how to make social work for their own brand – their own career.

As it turns out, women are naturally better at social (and digital) because we’re inherently better at nurturing relationships over time. This is an advantage we can exploit. 

Admittedly, social may not be a big part of most advertisers’ budgets. But to some extent, it’s still a shiny object and we know how fond clients are of those. Plus, the fact that there’s not as much money at stake makes it easier to take risks.

This is where women CDs come in. The digital/social seat is hard as hell to fill. Which is why management is less concerned about a CD's gender and more concerned about their level of fluency.

 A conference for Donna Drapers

The importance of mastering social media for your clients' benefit and your own is just one of the topics we'll be diving into at The 3% Conference, the first event of its kind for women Creative Directors.

If you agree that the lack of Donna Drapers isn’t just a gender issue, it’s an business issue, please join me on October 16-17^th in San Francisco as we shine a light on the business imperative of having more women creating advertising that connects with the most powerful marketing segment on the planet. And in case you’re worried that like many conferences you’ve attended, this one will turn into a group therapy session, with no concrete idea of what to do next, I assure you the 3% conference will be focused on problem solving.

In the panels I’m forming and speaking on, top women Creative Directors and other experts will share knowledge and tips so that each and every creative in the room can learn what she can do to improve her chances of climbing the ladder.

If you can't attend the conference but would like to learn more, please connect with us on Facebook, Twitter, or via the 3% LinkedIn group.

Social climbing at the High Line summer party

I knew I’d be surrounded by supermodels, philanthropists and New York illuminati at the High Line’s Summer Party. But I bought a ticket anyway, because:

1) I LOVE the High Line

2) I am a bad-ass carnival game player

3) The carnival prizes were from Coach  

But as soon as I climbed the stairs leading to the Diller-von Furstenberg Sundeck and saw the paparazzi mobbing the likes of Chris Noth and Maggie Gyllenhal, I wondered if I’d made a mistake. My wingman had to bail at the last minute. What was I doing flying solo at a party that was way too fucking cool for me?  

(Photo of Chris Noth by Neal Rasmus for the Billy Farrell Agency)

So how did I manage to turn my “who invited you” status into an “I belong” moment? 

By beating a plastic alligator with a mallet. By pumping away like a lunatic to inflate a balloon. And by dominating the ring toss.

I had nothing to lose. So I threw myself into the carnival games as if I were 7-years-old again. And a funny thing happened. The closer the glamazons and I got to the front of the Boom Blaster line, the more we had in common. By the time it was my turn, not only were they talking to me, they were cheering me on.

It didn’t matter that they were wearing the latest platform Louboutins as they flailed away and I was wearing last summer's Cole Haan one-inch wedges. Or that I live in Boston. All that mattered was we were united in our quest to win a Coach bag. And to support the High Line.

Lesson learned: social good may bring you together, but game playing makes you feel like you're on the same team.

P.S. High Line officials, if you’re listening, if you had a mobile app, everyone who attended the Summer Party would’ve been able to capture and upload their pictures on the spot. And oh yeah, they would’ve been able to push a donate button every time the hunk in the dunk tank hit the water.

Words to live by

Doing something > Writing or reading about it.

The point of Pinterest

Pinterest hysteria is peaking. Yet plenty of folks are still scratching their heads wondering why we need yet another social platform.

Here's why:

Using Pinterest, I shared this colorblock clutch from Target with 195 followers by "pinning" an image from the site (with a price) on my Pinterest "a la mode" board. My fashionista friends were able to click on the image to deep link directly to Target.com and buy it. BOOM!

If I were to share the same clutch via Facebook or Twitter, I'd need to add 3 pieces of info before sharing. The photo, a description, and the link.

And because all of my Facebook friends and/or Twitter followers might not be interested in Spring fashion trends, I’d need to either create a list of recipients or choose a preselected list. That's a lot more work for me. And a lot more room for error.

Pinterest has one other thing going for it. Everyone who follows my "a la mode board" can repin the clutch so everyone who follows them can buy it.

1 pin. 195 followers. Exponential sales.

Who’s using Pinterest? Women. Lots of women. And some men.

 BTW, it is beyond insulting that some bloggers & journalists phrase it this way: "Pinterest is just for women". My response: how does the fact that women are early adopters of Pinterest diminish the power of the platform or those using it? Women are not a niche. We have serious buying power in this country. That's why more and more brands are coming on board. Pun intended.

If Pinterest is driving sales in droves – and it is – why the kerfuffle over copyright infringement? I’m a writer, not a lawyer. So I won’t offer a legal opinion. I will say this: brands who let me share their products via other social platforms likely see the dollars and sense in letting me drive sales through Pinterest. Because every time I pin, it’s more than just free advertising. Every pin is a personal product endorsement -- improving the chances that every pin will result in a sale.

That’s the point of Pinterest.

Social, simplified

This image, borrowed from Buzzfeed, which probably borrowed it from Mashable, says it all. Well, almost. I'd add:

Pinterest: Bathrooms I'd like to pee in

Meetup: Let's get together IRL on Monday at 7PM to pee

Groupon: 50% off a place to pee near you

Paper.li: Who Peed Where, Why, and How Daily is now out

It does matter a flying fandango what medium you work in

The Advertising Copywriting group I belong to on LinkedIn has been lit up for the past month over whether you need to have digital experience to be a digital writer. Much consternation and conversation has been generated by Steve Spence's topic of discussion:

"For the love of God will people stop asking for 'Digital Copywriters'. If you can write copy it doesn't matter a flying fandango what medium you work in. I'm sick to death of this idiot pidgeonholing" (sic)

Many of the commenters complain "good writing is good writing". Which, they argue, is why ad agencies should hire them even if they've never written a website, iMedia unit, Facebook app or tweet in their life. 

Some of these writers claim the title of "digital copywriter" was likely created by self-serving youngsters trying to carve out a niche for themselves. They firmly believe agencies and marketers should look past their lack of digital experience (in spite of the fact that as senior writers, they are likely expensive). IMO, they're conveniently skirting the real issue, which is: the medium matters.

I'm not the only one who thinks so. As another group member put it (I'm paraphrasing here): many skilled writers just don't get it. Digital is a competency easily learned, but there are many who simply aren't changing with the times and actively developing new skill sets.

The elephant in the room is: why did so many traditional writers fail to embrace the future? Why didn't they see the digital writing on the wall? Advertising is an insecure industry at best. Why didn't they make more of an effort to stay current? 

I am a not at all young writer who has written radio, TV, print ads, brochures, direct mail, posters, packaging, event marketing, t-shirts--you get the idea. For each medium, I learned to adapt my writing. Likewise, I went out of my way to learn how to write effective and engaging websites, Facebook apps, blog posts, videos, tweets, iMedia, etc.

My advice to ad writers who want to stay in the biz is: stop blaming employers. In a market where there's a flood of qualified applicants, employers have the right to hire those who have digital experience. And stop blaming agencies. They don't have the time or money to train you in the rules of digital, mobile, and social.

Stop blaming younger writers. Stop blaming the economy. Instead, put the energy you spend blaming others into becoming more digital. Or find yourself a new career.

"Always On" (improvising your marketing ass off)

Brands have been talking about embracing an Always On strategy for a long time. Now, some are actually doing it -- responding in (almost) real time to customers and events. Which is exciting. And terrifying.

At one big digital ad agency I worked at, Always On meant we no longer had months of meetings to build consensus, focus group ideas, or get everyone in Legal onboard. We had a day or three at most to come up with awesome ideas that could be executed instantly.

Some creatives are better at this than others. If I could pick anyone to help me make something out of nothing in no time flat, I’d choose Tina Fey for her awesome powers of improv.

Read “The Rules of Improvisation That Will Change Your Life And Reduce Belly Fat”, from her ridiculously funny book, Bossypants, and you’ll understand why. 

In an Always On world, it's no longer enough to collaborate. You have to improvise. The first Rule of Improvising is you have to AGREE, to say YES to any hair brained idea anyone on your team throws out. The second Rule of Improvising is say YES, AND. Agree and then add something of your own.

Why would you be so agreeable when you could say "No, we can't do that", "No, that's not in the budget" or my all-time favorite "No, I like my idea better". Because an idea that you stumble upon together is likely to be stronger than the idea you would have as individuals.*

I wish every creative at the immense digital agency I worked at could be sent directly to an Upright Citizens Brigade improv class** to learn how to be truly and fully Always On.

I also wish all you Agency big shots looking to hire creatives who can take the Always On heat would stop talking to HR and pick up your own copy of Bossypants and memorize the part where Tina says you need to mix up the types of people coming up with these ideas. Some cerebral, organized "Harvard style" people mixed with some visceral, wacky free thinkers. e.g. Conan O’Brien & Chris Farley.

That's what I wish for. That, or a gig writing for Alec Baldwin.

*Tina Fey, in her Google interview wth Eric Schmidt

**Who thinks Finance will approve this expense?

Finding a real king of the social media jungle

A friend of mine needed to put together a social media strategy for a client and doesn’t know where to start. She reached out to a handful of people and can you believe it, every person she contacted turned out to be a Social Media Guru. <ironic wink goes here>

To her untrained ear, they all talked a good game. But not one of them had hands-on experience putting together a basic social media strategy, much less implementing it over time.

So, how can you hire someone who can help you find your way through the jungle of social media platforms and purposes vs someone who wants to learn on your dime?

Turn up your bullshit meter and listen closely to their sales pitch. These geniuses told my friend things like “it's all about controlling the data." “I can guarantee you an increase in sales.” “Measureable ROI? No problem.” Yet, not one of these so-called social media kingpins would share their methods or plan of attack beyond high-level generalizations.

Here’s the thing: getting started in social is not rocket science, as you know if you’ve read any of my posts. The trick is to do it right from the start and to continue to fine tune what's working.

So before you hire a "Social Media Guru", turn your bullshit detector way up. Then look for someone who 1) has actual experience 2) doesn't promise you the moon 3) shares what they know in plain English 4) and asks questions like: what do you hope to accomplish? how can I help you make a business case for social media? do you have the resources to maintain an active social presence? 

Breaking the social contract

I've read that this crappy economy has put more men out of work than women. And some unemployed men have given up looking for work to become stay at home Dads.

This means women are now in the majority in the workforce and more men are taking care of the kids and the home—the job my Mom friends call the best and worst in the world.

So how are newly minted breadwinner Moms feeling about their new role? The ones I know are struggling. 

They're conflicted. On one hand, they’re happy their husbands get to spend more time with the kids and to gain newfound appreciation for the demands of parenting. But they also resent that their husband is no longer earning an income. More than one of them has said that this is not what she signed up for. She thought she and her husband would be sharing the financial burden. 

The truth is, being the sole source of income for your family--whether you're a Mom or Dad--is scary.

What's going to happen to these families? And to these marriages? As the economy continues to sputter, households will continue to be turned upside down. And my friends will continue to be put to the test. I'm hoping they'll find ways to renegotiate the most important social contract of all--their marriage contract. But I'm a little worried.

How about you?

Moms who have picked up the financial slack—when you and your husband decided to have children, was this part of the deal? Are you feeling duped? Or are you resigned to being the sole provider?

Stay-at-home Dads—how do you feel about your Baby Daddy status? Is your wife supportive? Are you loving it? Or are you wishing like hell you could get your old job back?

Blow up your blog

At a blogher11 "Vlogging U" session yesterday, the entire audience applauded a conference attendee who shared a tip about how to keep your video content—and your audience—on your blog.  Pardon my French, but that’s a load of crap.

YouTube is the #2 search engine. Only Google has more drawing power. So unless you’re Huffington Post, limiting your readers’ ability to watch your content is limiting your reach.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t let readers watch your video content on your blog. Or that you shouldn’t try to monetize that content via ad impressions.

But if your goal is to reach the greatest number of people with your message (which will ultimately increase your content’s value and your value) stop thinking of your blog as the center of the universe and start thinking of it as a jumping off point.

So let people watch your video (and all of your related videos) on YouTube. Distribute your content to where they already are instead of making them always come to you.

Blow up the walls that separate your blog from the rest of the digital world and you may just blow up your readership—in the best possible way.

This bears repeating

It's #HireFriday when the Twitterverse shares tips and leads with jobseekers.

I've written before about why everyone should be on LinkedIn. And I will keep repeating myself until people stop asking me if it's worth their time.

LinkedIn is the go-to resource recruiters and employers use to locate talent.

And not that you need another reason, but here's 1 more:

It's a great way to stay in contact with former colleagues you don't like enough to Facebook with but who may be useful to you in the future. 

Speaking of the future, if you're one of those "rebels" who still refuses to join LinkedIn, WAKE UP.  There's only a kiddie pool of work out there and the high dive platform is getting more crowded every day.

Having a complete LinkedIn profile (with photos, recommendations, etc.) will help you come up in search more often and give you a shot at being the first into the water.

Any questions?

How viral happens

I cringe every time I hear about a creative brief with "Viral" in the title. "Viral video", "viral social program" or "Viral Facebook app".

Advertisers don't make things "viral". People do. It's only when people discover something so funny, sexy, weird-ass, or ingenious that they're compelled to share it like mad and as a result, it becomes viral.

The best advertisers can do is create something that's probably out of their comfort zone and hope it will become a sharing phenomenon.

Here are couple of things that are keeping folks up at night and interrupting their work day. (Click on each caption to learn more).

Notice that there's only 1 advertiser.

People posing as they take a dip.

Black Metal Vegan Chef videos.

Google+ intro videos.

All ears

Here's a question I'm asked often. "I want to get Brand X started in social media. What should we be saying in _____________" (fill in the blank with the social platform du jour).

My response: "say nothing". 

Until you know what your customers are saying and where they are saying it, do yourself a favor. Save yourself some embarrassment by spending at least a month doing nothing but listening.

You can hire a company to do this for you. Or you can take a DIY approach by setting some Google alerts and searching the social platforms you think your customers are using, like Twitter, Facebook, Foursquare, Quora, etc. 

Keep your ears open and your mouth shut. Then spend some time thinking about what you've learned. What do your customers care about? How can you provide value? If you've done a good job of listening, you'll know what to say and where to get started. 

It's complicated

Here's a thought: what if we laid a foundation of solid understanding with our clients before we tried to pitch them a digital/social initiative? What if we stopped being vendors and started being thought leaders?

Clients are paying us for our expertise.

So yes, we need to simplify our presentations as much as possible. But when they still say "digital/social is complicated", it's our job to remind them (respectfully) that it's easy to shout via TV commercials and print that "our product is the best and you should buy it". But getting to know your customers and what they want is harder.

Why? Because relationships are complicated. But in the long run, you get out of them what you put into them.

What could be simpler than that?

Why I don't want to be part of your community

A word of advice to advertisers who want to build a closed community for your customers. Don’t.

If you really want to hear what your customers are thinking, don’t demand that we connect with you in an environment you control. I, for one, don't want to take part in a behind closed doors conversation where you can shut me down if you don't like what I have to say.

But I'd love to chat, like and share around your products & services via Facebook, Twitter, Yelp, LinkedIn, Quora, etc., where others can also join our discussion.

Like most of your customers, I don’t want to be part of your community; I want you to be part of mine.

So unless you're a financial institution or a hospital that has regulatory and/or privacy issues, save your money. Instead of investing in another expensive website with community functionality, put your marketing dollars toward a well-thought out social media presence that lets you listen, connect and engage over time with your customers, in environments that we trust.

I killed Bob Slate

Bob Slate is dead--at least in Porter Square. And I'm responsible. When Staples moved into Harvard Square offering everything from padded envelopes to printer cartridges to Kindles at prices Bob Slate can't match, I complained (as did most of my neighbors) that Cambridge was becoming "Gap-ified". But no one held a gun to my head to make me shop at the Big Box store. Just as no one forced me to order books from Amazon. Or to buy a Dyson from eBay. I'm guilty as charged. And feeling ashamed that when Bob Slate closes 2 of its 3 doors in Cambridge, there will be no body to view; no funeral to attend and I'll know in my heart that I could've done more to save it. 

Hard-wired for social

I was just watching an RSAnimate video on Jeff Miller's posterous blog about how we humans are soft-wired not for violence, not for self-interest, but for empathy.

It reminded me of my theory that we military brats are soft-wired to be social. I wonder if a brain scan would show we're more empathic or somehow predisposed to be the social glue that holds our network together?

I'm no scientist. But I do know that I was social long before there was social media. As an Air Force "brat",  I've lived on 2 continents, in 2 countries, 4 states, on 1 island and god knows how many cities. All this moving meant I had to connect quickly and  keep those connections going long after I left a city or job.

It's no surprise that as soon as there was Facebook, I was on it. Likewise I was an early adopter of LinkedIn, Twitter, Quora, Pinterest, etc.

I rely on social media to stay in touch with my far-flung network. BTW, staying connected definitely has its perks. I always have a place to stay when I'm in Puerto Rico, Kaui, France, Montreal, Austin, Philadelphia, San Francisco, Columbus, Manhattan...

For me, the answer to the question: are military brats inherently "social"? is YES. Our nomad lifestyle hard-wired us. The technology just makes it easier to do what we've always done: weave our friends', familys' and colleagues' lives and interests together.

Of course, that's just one woman's opinion. So I checked with another military brat, Christie Cordes, who is what else -- an ad recruiter. Here's what she said "...as a child who moved all over the world, I immediately recognized the real power of social media, whereas others, were like 'oh please they're just Facebook friends, not my REAL friends, because real friends are in front of you and would disappear if they moved cities, not to mention countries'."

For Christie & me, location has always been irrelevant. And maintaining a real friendship has always been possible no matter what city or country you live in.

So here's to all the "brats" who believe that your real friends will stay connected to you as long as you stay connected to them.

Image c/o RSA Animate.